Fish can be fascinating. Their scales are like gems shining in the crystal clear water. Their fins are like wooden paddles rowing forward. Their eyes are like pebbles on the sandy shore of the beach. And most importantly, they are each unique.

We’re so fearful of aging and the passage of time, that we forget its gift — old friends. I use the word, “old” with reverence. It takes time with friends to learn how we are similar and how we are different; which values we share and where we disagree. It takes a multitude of experiences to test integrity and to build trust. And it takes time to heal — to forgive and to move beyond the misunderstandings and arguments that happen — even in caring friendships. Many of you reading this have enduring relationships with me. We've weathered storms both together and separately. And there's deep respect for the challenges we’ve faced, and the strengths we’ve drawn upon in the important life and death issues inevitable to living a diverse and full life.

We are complex beings, and often, understanding how and why we react to something is a mystery. In last week’s blog, "Tangled Expectations," I describe how I reacted to the difference between my expectations and the reality of doing an art project with sticky, tangling, difficult-to-handle, electrical tape. In your comments, you asked a logical question, "Why not just use paint?"  The answer is — my body reacts badly to paint. It took a long time to solve the mystery of why, but finally, I know the answer.  My genetics and paint fumes are not compatible. Here’s the story:

This summer I wanted to observe first hand what causes the tangles of distress that interrupt the wonderful expanses of peace we all experience. I even hoped to learn how to unravel some of those tangles. What an adventure! I could never have predicted what I’d learn — that expectations drive our experience of life. I discovered that we have expectations about almost everything — many below our levels of awareness — and the satisfaction or disappointment of these expectations is what creates contentment or agitation. This new awareness changes the possibility of converting distressing circumstances into peaceful ones on the spot. It provides a higher likelihood of being able to relax and have fun, even in the midst of rising upset. Let me share how it all unfolded.